How to be different.

Everyone is different, but are you different different?

I had a conversation with a friend that led me to think about being different. Now, we are all unique and that makes us all different, we can agree on that. And because of that we all have some sense of outsidedness from time to time, which is normal and human and a needed feeling to guide us more towards our own people, things and surroundings. Paradoxically being different also makes us all the same, it is what we all have in common.

But then there is a group that is different different. Not everyone is called out being different or critisized for being different or bullied, left out or controlled because they are different. You know them, they are the ones that are different enough to make you feel a bit uncomfortable. And i am not talking about the extreme scary ones, psycopaths, sosiopaths, narcissists or other kinds of violent types. And i am not talking about the ones who seek attention by trying their best to stand out. I am talking about people on the spectrum, the artsy weirdos, the deep thinkers and the geniouses. They try their best to fit in, but usually can’t because they just are a bit more different. I am one of those.

There is a purpose for us different different people. And it is quite obvious. To bring change. There is an ”outbreak” of ADHD and autism going on, and as usual i have a need to understand why. So, from the point of evolution, i mean, like if i were to be evolution itself, it raises a question, why would i create so many of them, what is my aim for that? Why would i put so many different thinkers on earth? Well, to make change happen. Human evolution has only one thing in it’s mind, and that is to keep us alive. In this point of our existance, we are slowly killing our planet, we are slowly killing ourselfs and we are slowly heading towards disasters on many levels. And there is a lot happening to prevent that, but not enough. Not enough awareness on what is happening, not enough awareness on ourselfs and how we are creating suffering and definetly not enough awareness of self to take accountability basically on anything as a lot of us just keeps blaming others and are waiting for them to ”get it” and change, so that our own life would be easier and then we can perhaps start doing our bit.

The truth is that only you need to ”get it”. So i gathered my top 5 things to help you and me to do just that. And to hopefully bring some of that change i have been talking about into this chaos that we live in.

1. Be the change you want to see in the world. What is bugging you the most at this moment? Do you perhaps feel that people don’t understand you? Are you taking enough time to understand yourself and your needs, are you learning communication skills and applying them, are you trying to understand them and others, are you in a wrong crowd? What can you do to bring more of what you want into the world instead of complaining about the lack of it in your life?
2. Learn empathy. Empathy is a skill that you can learn and grow to be master in. Put in simply, it is the skill to put yourself on other peoples shoes and from there to relate to their life experience and see their motives and needs from an individual level. Mastery of empathy means that you practice it with every counteraction so you can see peoples motives and needs more clearly and you can act and communicate accordingly with the intention of helping them.
3. Educate yourself just for the sake of understanding. This one is for those who feel that they have figured things out. Chances are, you haven’t. There are 8 billion different ways of looking at things on this planet and yours is just one. Start being more curious for other opinions. You don’t have to take them to your own, but open mindedness and critical thinking and the skill to form your authentic and honest opinion comes from learning different ways of viewing the world. Closed mindedness is about you thinking that you know and that you are right.
4. Learn the true purpose of envy and jealousy. ”Envy is a plague of this modern world” I hear this a lot from the leading thinkers of the world, and I couldn’t agree more. Envy is something that religion has taught us to suppress and deny in us, which has led to inability to read and act on that feeling the right way. It is a guiding feeling. When you feel envy or jealousy towards something, that tells you that there is something in that what you want. And instead of playing the victim card for the injustice for you not having that and acting out like a kid or sabotaging the thing for others, envy is supposed to inspire you to dive deep into your own desires and go do what you can to make them happen.
5. Face your shit. Simple. You have trauma, we all do. Find out what it is, how it manifests in your life, how to heal it and do you need to love it more or make changes so you do not pass it to others. Best places to start are google, youtube and the library.

There’s that! Good luck and have a wonderful day.

With lots of love, Laura